I had an epiphany last night in bed. Alone. I was so awakened by this idea that I tossed and turned for an hour and a half knowing I had to be up and perky in court this morning. (That convo is better left for another time.) And, as fate is, my business partner sends me an article today very much in line with my new awareness. It may be viewed at http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/cliff-kuang/design-innovation/hard-works-over-ratedit-could-even-be-detrimental See, I’ve been reading this book: Move to Greatness: Focusing the Four Essential Energies of a Whole and Balanced Leader. And well… OK, let me start from the beginning. I have been, in my opinion, a moderately to mostly unsuccessful person in my ‘careers’ to date. I have spent years trying to ‘better’ myself; reading, learning, working harder, longer, etc… I have always thought I was wrong or bad for my meandering and digressive habits. I have worked diligently at developing organizational structure for my life and I have a system for just about everything. I’ve learned to actually care about details, not nuance. I have a timer on my computer that tells me to stretch, drink water and relieve my bladder. As much it makes my skin crawl, I am quite capable of running the accounting office for a small to mid-size company by myself. Order and detail. Order and detail.
Meanwhile, coworkers, on every level of employment I've ever worked, have always appreciated and respected me. They’ve often looked to me for leadership. But, until I started my own business, I was not the leader. AND, even then, I continued to think I had to build all those skills I’d been chided for not having and squelch the ones I’ve been chided for having.
From first grade on, I scored poorly in categories such as pays attention, uses time wisely. I’d very much like to be successful, financially and amongst my piers, I’ve always believed I wasn’t and I've always looked to the past to correct my future. WRONG!
In my last career move, I even went so far as to strip my office of plants, artwork and things of beauty thinking I really needed to get it right and focus, and all that stuff has been distracting me. I was so committed. Alas, we only know what we’re taught and so I did not realize I was actually doing my darnedest to smother, squelch and otherwise kill the very core of one of my greatest strengths. Wandering.
Yes, wandering is my asset, wandering is my friend. Wandering, though I have treated it as a pariah to be scoured from the earth, is a large part of who I am and what makes me excel when I do. In fact, concept thinking; helping clients explore their intentions and targets from that ‘big picture’ perspective; that stuff that actually makes lasting growth happen, is what I do. Yet still, I have been trying to ‘fix’ my ‘problems’ of star gazing.
I feel so absolutely dense for not having seen this before. So now I begin the journey of realigning myself with me. I’m bringing the plants back, hanging artwork, loving my disaster of a desk and never chiding myself for it again. I’m going to play my goofy music and my ‘new age’, blues and country when it strikes me. I’m going take real breaks – not the go pee, grab a glass of water and smell the yard on the way breaks. I’m going to actually sit in my back yard and do what I do so well – just sit there. I’m going to play with my dogs, watch my beloved TED talk and make personal phone calls all on ‘company’ time. When a wandering thought hits me, I’m going to address it there and then, not tuck it away hoping I make time for it later. I’m going to explore it and breath!
If you’ve not read this book, do. It’s an easy read and truly insightful. It also has tools and tricks. It can help you strengthen your weaker energies and encourage your stronger ones. As you can see by the title, there are only four. You can handle it. To finding your balance ;)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Chruch & State
OK, I'm sure there are others who could say this better but I just have to get this off my chest. An associate just sent me an email. It gives me the option to score 100 or ZERO. Now that already pisses me off. Nothing is black or white. NOTHING! Oh, were life that easy to maneuver. It isn't. We're human, we've designed this journey for hard questions and big decisions and yet we run from them like a puppy from a beating he's had before.
Let me share what"s chapping my behind. After the score thing, I'm shown a lot of white bread, Christian images of Jesus being compassionate and suffering in various pictorial versions of stories we've all heard. Then, "I'm not ashamed. He is the only one that can save this country and they want him removed from the government.
Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want."
Then it goes on the threaten me if I don't send it along.
Are you sitting down? Bet you are now.
In case you haven't figured it out, apparently I'm a they. And I had no idea I was an atheist.
To all the small minded, fear based, lost souls out there.
Please don't try and shame me into sharing your beliefs.
Creating economic and government structures (two different things that need to aligned to be successful) that care for an entity's members is, yes, a moral argument. The argument is simply do we care for all our people or just those who fit our definition. This so called argument is an utterly erroneous question in a healthy society. A health society cares for all it's people. We are a sick society.
Traditional western religion is guised in morality but tethers its people with shame, judgment and fear. Church and state must be separated because churches, clans, clicks, groups - all create their definition of themselves by judging others against them. By definition, this is not a society but a subset who has found comfort in their sameness. That is fine, it is part of the human condition to need this comfort. It is NOT morally just. It is not relevant to the states job.
The states job is to care for all it's members. To strive for a community, a group, that cares for ALL it's people is to not exclude, not judge, and to not leave behind those who do not 'fit' the judgers parameters.
This disparity of goals negates success for both factions.
We need to recognize that Christian based faith is not necessarily a moral stance arguing for a government that cares for its people and yet encourages individual attainment, as the Americans would like it. Christian based faith, especially as it is being currently sold - and bought - is a fear based emotional reaction to the unknown all other religions of the world. If Americans would read a book or see or listen to the rest of the world, they would know that all religion harbors a 'moral' message and posture, all religious followers believe theirs to be the 'right' moral stance and the only other emphatic, zealotic religious group in the world that even compares to the Christian right wing in it's fear and judgment is extremist Muslims - these people's biggest fear. What's the saying, be careful of what you hate... AND both religions are rooted in the same Catholicism - read your history!
Church belongs in a church. State belongs in government. Faith, love and compassion belong everywhere and seem to be clinging like a stormy summer's spider's web to the edge of societies branches.
Let me share what"s chapping my behind. After the score thing, I'm shown a lot of white bread, Christian images of Jesus being compassionate and suffering in various pictorial versions of stories we've all heard. Then, "I'm not ashamed. He is the only one that can save this country and they want him removed from the government.
Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want."
Then it goes on the threaten me if I don't send it along.
Are you sitting down? Bet you are now.
In case you haven't figured it out, apparently I'm a they. And I had no idea I was an atheist.
To all the small minded, fear based, lost souls out there.
Please don't try and shame me into sharing your beliefs.
Creating economic and government structures (two different things that need to aligned to be successful) that care for an entity's members is, yes, a moral argument. The argument is simply do we care for all our people or just those who fit our definition. This so called argument is an utterly erroneous question in a healthy society. A health society cares for all it's people. We are a sick society.
Traditional western religion is guised in morality but tethers its people with shame, judgment and fear. Church and state must be separated because churches, clans, clicks, groups - all create their definition of themselves by judging others against them. By definition, this is not a society but a subset who has found comfort in their sameness. That is fine, it is part of the human condition to need this comfort. It is NOT morally just. It is not relevant to the states job.
The states job is to care for all it's members. To strive for a community, a group, that cares for ALL it's people is to not exclude, not judge, and to not leave behind those who do not 'fit' the judgers parameters.
This disparity of goals negates success for both factions.
We need to recognize that Christian based faith is not necessarily a moral stance arguing for a government that cares for its people and yet encourages individual attainment, as the Americans would like it. Christian based faith, especially as it is being currently sold - and bought - is a fear based emotional reaction to the unknown all other religions of the world. If Americans would read a book or see or listen to the rest of the world, they would know that all religion harbors a 'moral' message and posture, all religious followers believe theirs to be the 'right' moral stance and the only other emphatic, zealotic religious group in the world that even compares to the Christian right wing in it's fear and judgment is extremist Muslims - these people's biggest fear. What's the saying, be careful of what you hate... AND both religions are rooted in the same Catholicism - read your history!
Church belongs in a church. State belongs in government. Faith, love and compassion belong everywhere and seem to be clinging like a stormy summer's spider's web to the edge of societies branches.
Friday, September 11, 2009
911, reflecltion and going on
I never thought I'd be a blogger. Not sure what my judgment has been about it, but I obviously had one or I wouldn't have put myself outside of that possibility. Perhaps I'll ponder it next time. This time I'd like to discuss my meanderings of today: my mom, Betty Farmer, She died in 911. She was on the 105th floor, tower 1.
Today, since 2001, puts me in a rather reflective mood and has a lot of people who care for me making contact, even if I haven't heard from them since last year this time, I do and it's good. Thank you all for that. You remind me the value of the journey.
I've been going through a lot of change this year. Thank God, I believe that we come to what we come to for growth and inspiration, for the opportunity to be more than we were yesterday, for the chance to be now, and be happy.
Otherwise how could I really look at loosing everything but my roof, and that's in question, as anything other than ****** hell? As I say, it's been a big year. As it has been for many.
But, back to me. Today is a day that I get to review. It's become my personal 'New Years Day'; reflection, laughter, loss, regret and wonder. Then I can wash my slate, knowing Betty has my back and go on.
Well, she has my back as well as she ever did; lots of love and support as long it's fun - but that's my girl! And I loved and love her for all that she is, not just the stuff her kid needed.
It's funny how when you've finally accepted that someone you love is gone, you realize they're not near as gone as you thought. Though vague, they're more with you; with you all the time. They become part of your fabric. No longer someone you anticipate sharing a moment here or there with, they remain with you, always by your side, in your skin, of your being.
One can't help but know that death is not was here, now gone. It's more was visible to the critical eye and now palpable to enduring spirit.
My team is growing. I lost a very, very dear friend this year. He was the man who accompanied me to NY after 'the big event'. He was a firefighter - for over 25 years. He's been in my life for over ten years and we've traveled the world together. I was fortunate to have his family allow me to organize his services. In his honor, they were a bit unorthodox and I know he greatly approved. He sits on my mantle... and in the sea, scattered by bottle rockets on the 4th this year, soon to be flung from a helicopter ride over Saint Simons, at the base is favorite headstone on the north end, on the burial mounds in the village, in a locket Kim wears, up the flue at Murphy's (oops, don't tell), in a treasure box I made for Priester, hell he's everywhere and every time I travel, I take a little bit of him me to spread around! He loved to travel and there are still a few places he hasn't been. I'm gonna help him finish his jouney. Besides, it kind of exciting, bring a baggy of ashes with you through security waiting to see if you're gonna get called on it and wondering what in the heck you're gonna say.
The funeral home said in the 27 years they've been doing this, they'd never before had someone not fit in the box. I explained they'd never had the honor of putting to rest the remains of such a living, loving man. It was simply his heart that couldn't be reduced to nothing but ashes.
On the other hand, it took about two years for them to find anything of Betty and I never thought it would happen. Though larger than life in spirit and will, she was a slim 115# and that was a lot of building. Now I'm a believer ya'll but I'm not formal and I don't attend a church so when a local pastor called and asked if he could make a visit, I assumed it was in regards to one of my tenants.
Note: I own and run a property management company.
I figured I'd be getting some 'story' about their hard times and asked for some compassion in their plight.
Confusion would be my response when a priest and a local firefighter showed up at my office. Their kind and gentle nature, their intention that I not be frightened or feel alone... WOW. I will never forget them. And thought it took me three months to get her out of hock (the funeral home bill was $1000,) she too sits here with me. I know Betty was cracking up over that one. It was appropriate.
I guess this is part of getting older. More people you love with you, not by you, so much more to value and more to miss. Funny to be so damn sad and grateful simultatiously.
Today, since 2001, puts me in a rather reflective mood and has a lot of people who care for me making contact, even if I haven't heard from them since last year this time, I do and it's good. Thank you all for that. You remind me the value of the journey.
I've been going through a lot of change this year. Thank God, I believe that we come to what we come to for growth and inspiration, for the opportunity to be more than we were yesterday, for the chance to be now, and be happy.
Otherwise how could I really look at loosing everything but my roof, and that's in question, as anything other than ****** hell? As I say, it's been a big year. As it has been for many.
But, back to me. Today is a day that I get to review. It's become my personal 'New Years Day'; reflection, laughter, loss, regret and wonder. Then I can wash my slate, knowing Betty has my back and go on.
Well, she has my back as well as she ever did; lots of love and support as long it's fun - but that's my girl! And I loved and love her for all that she is, not just the stuff her kid needed.
It's funny how when you've finally accepted that someone you love is gone, you realize they're not near as gone as you thought. Though vague, they're more with you; with you all the time. They become part of your fabric. No longer someone you anticipate sharing a moment here or there with, they remain with you, always by your side, in your skin, of your being.
One can't help but know that death is not was here, now gone. It's more was visible to the critical eye and now palpable to enduring spirit.
My team is growing. I lost a very, very dear friend this year. He was the man who accompanied me to NY after 'the big event'. He was a firefighter - for over 25 years. He's been in my life for over ten years and we've traveled the world together. I was fortunate to have his family allow me to organize his services. In his honor, they were a bit unorthodox and I know he greatly approved. He sits on my mantle... and in the sea, scattered by bottle rockets on the 4th this year, soon to be flung from a helicopter ride over Saint Simons, at the base is favorite headstone on the north end, on the burial mounds in the village, in a locket Kim wears, up the flue at Murphy's (oops, don't tell), in a treasure box I made for Priester, hell he's everywhere and every time I travel, I take a little bit of him me to spread around! He loved to travel and there are still a few places he hasn't been. I'm gonna help him finish his jouney. Besides, it kind of exciting, bring a baggy of ashes with you through security waiting to see if you're gonna get called on it and wondering what in the heck you're gonna say.
The funeral home said in the 27 years they've been doing this, they'd never before had someone not fit in the box. I explained they'd never had the honor of putting to rest the remains of such a living, loving man. It was simply his heart that couldn't be reduced to nothing but ashes.
On the other hand, it took about two years for them to find anything of Betty and I never thought it would happen. Though larger than life in spirit and will, she was a slim 115# and that was a lot of building. Now I'm a believer ya'll but I'm not formal and I don't attend a church so when a local pastor called and asked if he could make a visit, I assumed it was in regards to one of my tenants.
Note: I own and run a property management company.
I figured I'd be getting some 'story' about their hard times and asked for some compassion in their plight.
Confusion would be my response when a priest and a local firefighter showed up at my office. Their kind and gentle nature, their intention that I not be frightened or feel alone... WOW. I will never forget them. And thought it took me three months to get her out of hock (the funeral home bill was $1000,) she too sits here with me. I know Betty was cracking up over that one. It was appropriate.
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