Today, since 2001, puts me in a rather reflective mood and has a lot of people who care for me making contact, even if I haven't heard from them since last year this time, I do and it's good. Thank you all for that. You remind me the value of the journey.
I've been going through a lot of change this year. Thank God, I believe that we come to what we come to for growth and inspiration, for the opportunity to be more than we were yesterday, for the chance to be now, and be happy.
Otherwise how could I really look at loosing everything but my roof, and that's in question, as anything other than ****** hell? As I say, it's been a big year. As it has been for many.
But, back to me. Today is a day that I get to review. It's become my personal 'New Years Day'; reflection, laughter, loss, regret and wonder. Then I can wash my slate, knowing Betty has my back and go on.
Well, she has my back as well as she ever did; lots of love and support as long it's fun - but that's my girl! And I loved and love her for all that she is, not just the stuff her kid needed.
It's funny how when you've finally accepted that someone you love is gone, you realize they're not near as gone as you thought. Though vague, they're more with you; with you all the time. They become part of your fabric. No longer someone you anticipate sharing a moment here or there with, they remain with you, always by your side, in your skin, of your being.
One can't help but know that death is not was here, now gone. It's more was visible to the critical eye and now palpable to enduring spirit.
My team is growing. I lost a very, very dear friend this year. He was the man who accompanied me to NY after 'the big event'. He was a firefighter - for over 25 years. He's been in my life for over ten years and we've traveled the world together. I was fortunate to have his family allow me to organize his services. In his honor, they were a bit unorthodox and I know he greatly approved. He sits on my mantle... and in the sea, scattered by bottle rockets on the 4th this year, soon to be flung from a helicopter ride over Saint Simons, at the base is favorite headstone on the north end, on the burial mounds in the village, in a locket Kim wears, up the flue at Murphy's (oops, don't tell), in a treasure box I made for Priester, hell he's everywhere and every time I travel, I take a little bit of him me to spread around! He loved to travel and there are still a few places he hasn't been. I'm gonna help him finish his jouney. Besides, it kind of exciting, bring a baggy of ashes with you through security waiting to see if you're gonna get called on it and wondering what in the heck you're gonna say.
The funeral home said in the 27 years they've been doing this, they'd never before had someone not fit in the box. I explained they'd never had the honor of putting to rest the remains of such a living, loving man. It was simply his heart that couldn't be reduced to nothing but ashes.
On the other hand, it took about two years for them to find anything of Betty and I never thought it would happen. Though larger than life in spirit and will, she was a slim 115# and that was a lot of building. Now I'm a believer ya'll but I'm not formal and I don't attend a church so when a local pastor called and asked if he could make a visit, I assumed it was in regards to one of my tenants.
Note: I own and run a property management company.
I figured I'd be getting some 'story' about their hard times and asked for some compassion in their plight.
Confusion would be my response when a priest and a local firefighter showed up at my office. Their kind and gentle nature, their intention that I not be frightened or feel alone... WOW. I will never forget them. And thought it took me three months to get her out of hock (the funeral home bill was $1000,) she too sits here with me. I know Betty was cracking up over that one. It was appropriate.
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